Justin Andress
You don’t have to spend an hour and a half being alternately bored and creeped out by Alfred Hitchcock’s spooky thriller The Birds to have a little chill run down your spine when you set eyes on one of these chilling leftovers from the Jurassic era. What? Birds are dinosaurs, and — to cite another modern classic — as Steven Spielberg’s thoroughly enjoyable Jurassic Park (and it’s less-impressive sequels) state quite clearly, it’s only a matter of time before dinosaurs attack. Oh sure, birds might seem mostly harmless (dumb, even), but that’s all a facade. They’re all just waiting for the moment when they can descend upon the unsuspecting masses and wreak terror of all variety. You’ll wish they’d just pooped on your car when the bird uprising begins in earnest. For now, take heart in the knowledge that you weren’t one of the victims of the following bird attacks. Stay vigilant, however, as your time will come.
1. Thank God She Was the Best Paraglider Ever
In February of 2007, Britain’s top female paraglider, Nicky Moss, was soaring more than 8,000 feet above the ground while in competition in Australia. Without warning, two wild wedge-tailed eagles swooped down and began ripping at her canopy. At one point, one of the eagles became entangled in her glider and started thrashing at her head. Just to put that in perspective: the wedge-tailed eagle is Australia’s largest bird of prey. Its wingspan can exceed six feet. One veteran paraglider once called them “sharks of the air.” Fortunately, Moss was able to evade the attack with minimal injury (she crashed into a gum tree).
