Joe Exclamation
On the best day, being a babysitter is a tiring and thankless job. When you’re managing the spawn of Satan, however, things can get a little bit dicier. Here are some of the most hair-raising stories from the front lines of the babysitting sector. Gird your loins; it’s going to be a rough ride.
1. Fire Starter
“When I was a 16-year-old sitter, the 9-year-old I was looking after climbed out his bedroom window and set the house on fire. Fortunately, I called the fire department and got the kids out of the house before any real damage was done. Oddly enough, the tot in question grew up to be a firefighter.”
2. Seriously, Tell Your Kids ‘No’
When working for a family in the mornings, the full-time nanny was informed that she wasn’t allowed to tell the kids, “no.” Ever. When the 5-year-old threw a tantrum, he and mommy would take a fully-clothed shower together until he calms down…
3. Keep This Child Away From Animals
“I was babysitting my niece when I noticed she had gone suspiciously quiet. That’s always a recipe for mischief, but this first grader had tried to stab a cop with a pair of scissors about six months earlier, so … there was cause for concern. When I found her, she had a sharpened pencil hovering over their dog’s head claiming she was, ‘helping the dog go to heaven so I can get a cat instead.”
4. The Quick Bamboozle
“The people who hired me informed me that the couple they’d be going out with couldn’t find a babysitter. Under the promise of more money I reluctantly agreed to watch the extra four kids. Whiiich turned out to be six. Once the parents were gone, the eldest turned into a conductor of insanity instigating a fight between the twins; he coerced a toddler to drop a deuce on the living room floor and when one of the children vomited, he scooped up the puke and flung it all over the walls. And the pay for this long night of torture? A whopping 34 bucks.”
5. Where Did He Get the Knife?
Redditor jlfron was entertaining the kid he was in charge of by playing with their combined collection of Pokemon cards. Everything was splendid until the little jackanape pulled out a pocket knife, waved it at the sitter saying: “hand over all my Pokemon cards. Or else.”
6. Don’t Leave Your House Key Exposed
“When the young lad I was babysitting went to the bathroom, I assumed everything was fine, until the kid ran bottomless into the living room, grabbed my house key and tossed it happily into the poo-filled toilet. I cursed and ran into the bathroom and while I was scooping the key out of the john, the kid took his time spreading his feces across the family couch.”
7. Watching Grandpa Go on Safari
“As a high schooler, I was asked to look after my 90-year-old grandpa. Things started off well uuuuntil he started screaming at children who weren’t there. I tried to explain to him that there was no one running through the house, but grandpa responded by grabbing a shotgun in search of the specters. Fortunately, no shots were fired and grandpa eventually calmed down.”
8. It’s a Parent Toy, Not a Puppy Toy
Redditor eternityinspace was babysitting a kid who simply refused to sleep when his parents weren’t home unless he was in their bed. “As soon as I turned my back, the little girl started exploring and she promptly found a massive, marital aid. On seeing the giant latex cylinder, the little girl naturally assumed it was a dog toy. I found this out when the family basset hound came into the lounge parading his new toy.”
9. These Kids Could Use a Refresher Course on the Can
Redditor CMelody had her hands full watching a trio of kids who went nuts right after the parents hopped in the car. “While getting the youngest toddler to use her training toilet, I wandered into the oldest boys’ room to find the brothers urinating across the room at one another, soaking the sheets, the walls, the floors, all of it. While I attempted to clean it up, the little girl began to drag her training potty around the house, water sloshing the whole way.”
What childish nightmares have you experienced?
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