A User’s Guide to Truly Effective Laziness

5. Parent of the Year

Sure, having kids sounded like lots of fun (at least the consummation part did), but now that they’re out it turns out that kids are just a lot of work. It’s Saturday afternoon and you want to sit on the porch and enjoy a beer, but your demanding kid needs “nurturing.” No problem, if you’ve got enough string you can easily get plastered and entertain your child without getting off your butt. It’s a win-win!