9. On Ted Cruz
Trump’s closest opponent is the equally questionable Ted Cruz, a man who’s black-eyed stare is enough to give you the shivers. Before he got on the campaign trail, Trump was quoted saying, “I really do, I like Ted Cruz a lot.” Obviously that statement is a total lie, because … well, have you seen Ted Cruz? How is this freakshow the number two Republican candidate? Are you kidding me? Anyway, it wasn’t long after they got into competition that Trump reversed his pro-Cruz tone, saying, “I don’t think Ted Cruz has a great chance … he’s a nasty guy, nobody likes him.” At least this time he flip-flopped to something honest.