18 Reasons Hipsters Should Be Banned From the Kitchen

For those people who thought the hippies were the worst sect unleashed on society, the hipster must seem like a living nightmare. They’re a group of people motivated by a lifestyle that’s dripping in self-conscious irony. Their fashion is odd. Their pop culture taste is inscrutable. And the things they’re doing with facial hair is a crime against good taste. But none of that compares to the hipsters offenses in the kitchen. The entire movement has been dominated by flat-out weirdness in the culinary arts. Here are 21 reasons why hipsters should be legally barred from interacting with food.

1. Weird Ice Cream

Ice cream may be the most delectable dessert ever gifted unto mankind. Even a simple vanilla is a delectable treat for the taste buds. Then some hipsters went and ruined cold cream by making it taste like eggs and bacon, lobster and a whole bunch of foods that have no business being on a dessert menu.