Jermaine Jamero
Marriage, love and relationships are all great things. They help us to grow and learn as people and they also offer some fun exciting times. However having a marriage or any love relationship in general takes a lot of time and effort to make the relationship work. There are many things you can do and not do in a marriage that can help it to be more successful. Below are just 15 viral rules to follow for a better chance at marital success.
1. Communicate
One of the number one things a relationship needs whether it is a marriage, a friendship or even a relationship between a parent and a child is good communication. A lack of communication can not only cause insecurities in a relationship but it can also cause the other person to make assumptions that may not be true. Communicate your feelings as well as your wants and desires and encourage your partner to do the same. Not only does shared communication help you to get on the same page but it also helps you to realize if your goals are the same. One of the most important things to remember when communicating is to do so in a calm and well-mannered way.
2. Don’t Throw Insults
Insulting your partner is not only hurtful to their self esteem but also to your relationship. Some things that are said cannot be taken back even if they were just said in a moment of anger. It is important in a marriage as well as any relationship not to insult your partner. Although they may have flaws or downfalls there are better ways to point these out or communicate rather than insulting them. For example if your partner has smelly feet from working all day instead of insulting them by telling them how much they smell perhaps you could offer to buy them odor eaters or even a foot powder that can help relieve it. You can even offer to set up a foot bath for them and include some nice fragrant bath salts which will help defuse the smell.
3. Keep Calm
One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is lose your cool. Not only does this make the other individual feel insecure but it can also make them feel scared and nervous. Keeping your cool means not yelling, not cursing and especially not being physically threatening or throwing things. If you are the kind of individual who loses their temper quickly instead of losing your patience try removing yourself from the situation for a few minutes until you cool down.
4. Spend Quality Time Together
One of the best ways to make a marriage more successful is to spend quality time together. Although it doesn’t have to be a crazy activity simple things can help you bond better. Quality time can be anything from food shopping together to folding laundry together or even just watching a movie on the couch.
5. Remain Physical
Being physical in a marriage is very important. Not only in a sexual aspect but just touching in general. Human touch not only evokes emotion but also a sense of calm and peace. Make it a point to give each other long meaningful hugs every single day.
6. Try New Things
Trying new things together is a great way to bond and make your marriage stronger. Trying new things causes you to work and learn together which can deepen your relationship. Once or twice a month try a new activity as they can not only add a bit of flair to the relationship but also a bit of fun.
7. Travel
Traveling together is another great way to keep a marriage strong and healthy. Traveling together causes you to rely on each other more and makes you focus on enjoying your time together. Although travel may not be in everyone’s budget small simple trips can also help. A weekend at the local hotel or a day spent at the amusement park is a nice little get away.
8. Have Each Others Back
One great way to strengthen a marriage is to always have each other’s back. It is comforting to know that someone will always be there to help you or defend you. Never allow people to talk down to your spouse or insult them.
9. Never Stop Putting In Effort
One reason many marriages fail is because people stop putting in effort. After some time men don’t compliment women as much, women don’t tend to men as much and so on. This causes a strain in most relationships. Instead continue to put in effort every single day. It does not have to be big things a simple compliment, a nice back rub anything to show effort and care.
10. Surprise Each Other
It is no secret relationships can sometimes become a bore. This is especially true if couples have been together a very long time. Surprising each other helps to keep the spark alive and keep the fun and interest going. Surprises don’t have to be anything big. A simple candy bar at the end of the day, renting their favorite movie when they had a long day at work or even planning a nice romantic dinner every now and then can help keep marriages interesting.
11. Fight Fair
As many know fighting in a relationship is pretty common and normal. As long as you are not fighting constantly or terribly a little bickering is pretty typical. Married couples often spend a lot of time in the same space and often have a lot of things they are worried about and sometimes those frustrations come to a head in the form of an argument. This is normal and typically ok but always remember to fight fair. Avoid insulting your partner and avoid using derogatory words. Also be sure to stick to the topic on hand. Don’t use every argument to bring up old dirt or old arguments.
12. Be Understanding
One of the key things to having a successful marriage is to be very understanding. When you are married you are merging two lives together. Two lives that may enjoy different things or may even communicate very differently. The key to making it work is to try to understand each other. Don’t insult each others way of doing things but rather try to learn and understand why they do what they do.
13. Know What To Bring To The Table
This is especially a good rule for couples who are very different in the way they do things. Instead of getting annoyed or angry at your differences celebrate and enjoy them. Sit down and really dissect what you bring to the relationship. For instance if you love doing dishes but your partner hates it why not take on that role and perhaps they can vacuum the rugs which you might hate doing. Not every relationship has to be 50 50 on every single thing. If one person likes or does something better allow them to do it and think of something else you can bring to the table. Think about it like this if you go to a dinner party and every person brings the same dish will you really enjoy the meal as much? No, not as much as you would if every person brought something different to try. Know what strong points you have to offer and do the best you can with it.
14. Work At It
Just like with everything else in life marriage, love and relationships take work. The key to having a good marriage is to put in the work even at the times you don’t really feel like it and especially at the times you don’t really feel like it. Not giving up no matter what is the difference between making a marriage work and getting a divorce. If your partner enjoys a foot rub at the end of a hard day suck it up and give them a foot rub. If your wife needs five minutes of freedom from the kids offer it to her. Putting in the extra work now saves you from lots of hassle in the long run.
15. Keep Problems In The Marriage
One way to have a more successful marriage is to keep your problems between each other. Although it may seem like a good idea to vent to friends and family it is often a bad idea. Not only will they look at your spouse differently but they will also look at your relationship much differently. When having hard times with your spouse lean on each other for support or step outside of your everyday friends and family and talk to a therapist or even your pastor at your church. Try not to say bad things about your spouse to those around you. Not only does this breakdown your relationship with your spouse but it also causes friction between your friends and family and your spouse. Keep private matters private.
Overall these are just 15 of the top things you can do to help make your marriage more successful. The key is to communicate, be kind and always have each other’s back. Although marriages can be a lot of work they can also be very rewarding.