Joe Exclamation
Okay, adult life is difficult. Bills, Mortgages and such. It’s tempting to think fondly on your youth, and confuse the wonder years as the best time of your life. But let us now remove your nostalgic rose colored glasses and remind you of times when being a kid was the pits.
1. Sent To Bed
As an adult, if I want to stay up late binge-watching Friends, I damn well will. Being ordered to bed at some unreasonably reasonable time by a jerk who was just going to stay up late themselves was just no fair!
2. School Dance
Being driven all the way back to school on a weekend night was terrible enough, but hovering with the other cowards in your Sunday clothes in the darkened gymnasium while No Doubt blared across the speakers was a fate close to death.
3. Being Locked Out
You get home from the torture of a school day, only to discover you didn’t take your key this morning. You could wait a few hours until your parents got home from work, or you could engage in some uncalled for acrobatics involving a bike seat, a wood shed and an unlocked second story window.
4. Communal Showers
You could have been the tallest, strongest, most Gucci-model-in-waiting in your entire grade school and you still hated having to shower alongside your peers. You were at your most awkward and not even the kids cracking jokes and snapping towels were really having fun.
5. Chores
In my house, we take the garbage out about three times a week. As a kid, I took the garbage out every damn day. Why? Because it was part of my chores. Stupid character-building exercises. Probably why I now only take out the garbage three times a week.
6. Homework
Having to spend all day locked in a drab building only to have to bring assignments home and use up hours of your free time was an insult added to injury. A bad trend to set for children, encouraging them to bring their work home with them every day.
7. Gym Class
Maybe some kids enjoyed gym the way other people enjoy things that don’t involve inane, torturous, stupid exercises in humiliation. I mean, I wasn’t scarred by gym class, personally, but I’m lucky and I don’t hold grudges.
8. Part-Time Jobs
When you needed to earn a little cash beyond your measly allowance it was time to get a job. Only, who’s going to hire a middle or high school kid? Someone with something really demeaning to do, that’s who. Were these minimum wage indignities really all that character building?
9. The School Drinking Fountain
Gross. Just … gross. Moving on …
10. Getting Picked
Here’s a terrible thing from way back. Waiting to get picked for a team. Sure, some kids were always first in line (the jerks with dumb hand-eye coordination). Most of us, though, were stuck waiting for an agonising length of time until one of the two team captains finally said our name.
What really sucked about your childhood?
Let us know in the comments!